You too big for Singapore clothes!
Jane says I should share this little snippet from our Saturday morning shopping on Orchard Road.
When you’re in the shoe section, you tend to get largely left alone by the shop assistants. I mean, even for westerners, how big can girls’ feet get? They do look a bit wary when you ask to try a pair on, but luckily saying “size 6 please” seems to go down OK. Having said that, one of our colleagues got harangued in a shoe shop for having feet that are “too fat” and the lady declared that she would never find footwear in Singapore.
The fun really starts when you get into the clothes section. The grumpy-looking assistants trail you up and down the rails, staring beady-eyed at anything you pick up and they are quick to comment. Picking up a “medium” will get you tutting noises and a disgusted look, picking up a “small” is an invitation for poorly-suppressed hysteria.
Not to be put off, Jane and I picked up a handful of gear and headed off to the changing rooms. Jane was in one room when the shop assistant barged in, took one look at Jane in the medium trousers, laughed loudly, stuck her fingers down the waistband and declamed loudly “you need large! you need go on diet!” while Jane stared at her in shock. I told the woman she was very rude, and moved into the changing room to provide back-up. Not to be thwarted, the tiny grumpy lady launched a pair of ‘large’ trousers over the changing room door and shouted “you wear those!”. Needless to say, Jane being as bloody-minded as me, she bought the medium ones.
It is distressing to be thought-of as enormous when you’re a size 12 (OK, that’s a size 12 plus a December’s worth of Green and Black’s, Christmas pudding and red wine). Especially when the women here remain pocket-sized at the same time as munching their own bodyweight in crisps every day in the office, and living on an island where 70% of the landmass is covered with restaurants and bars.
We have signed up Andy as personal trainer, and maybe by the time we leave we will no longer be chased from chichi department stores by tiny old women gleefully crying “you too big for Singapore clothes!”.
Jo 28 January 2007
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